Let’s be real—today’s world is full of distractions. Our phones are buzzing with notifications, emails are popping up, and social media is just one swipe away. We’ve got a million things fighting for our attention, and it’s easy to get caught up in this whirlwind of instant gratification. But here’s the thing: being constantly distracted doesn’t just affect our productivity; it also impacts our relationships, especially when we’re in leadership roles.
Whether you’re a youth educator, a coach, mentor, or even a parent, one of the most important qualities you can build is trust. But trust doesn’t come easy when people feel like you’re not really there with them. That’s why learning to be present in the moment is such a powerful skill for leaders.
One of the best pieces of feedback when I asked my millennial team of dance teachers on how I could be a better leader, was that I was not very “present” in my conversations with them. One of my team members was so brutally honest that she said, “I don’t feel like you ever are really listening to me.”
Ouch! This hurt for sure but it also started me on the quest to bring a more focused sense of awareness to my leadership.
My goal in this post is to help other leaders that may not see this blind spot. Let’s explore why being present matters so much, how our obsession with instant gratification is impacting our attention spans, and, most importantly, how you can become a more focused and trustworthy leader.
The Instant Gratification Trap: Why We’re More Distracted Than Ever
Let’s start with a shocking fact: research from Microsoft shows that our average attention span dropped from 12 seconds in 2000 to just 8 seconds in 2015. Yup, you read that right. That’s shorter than a goldfish’s attention span! So, what’s causing this? It’s the digital age we live in. We’re constantly getting that dopamine hit from likes, comments, and messages, which has wired us to expect everything now. And while this can be convenient, it’s also made us impatient, easily distracted, and less engaged.
For leaders—especially those working with youth—this is a big deal. A distracted leader can unintentionally send the message that they’re uninterested or don’t care. Imagine trying to have a meaningful conversation with someone who’s checking their phone every few seconds. It doesn’t feel great, right? That’s how a lot of people feel when they’re around a leader who’s not fully present.
Why Presence is the Key to Trust
So, what does it mean to be a present leader? It’s more than just physically showing up; it’s about giving your full attention, listening actively, and responding thoughtfully. When you do this, it shows respect and a genuine interest in others, which are the building blocks of trust.
Research from the Center for Creative Leadership found that trust in leaders is directly linked to their ability to be present. When leaders are fully engaged, they’re able to pick up on small cues, understand what’s really going on, and respond in ways that meet the needs of the people they’re leading. For youth educators, this could mean noticing when a student seems off or picking up on underlying issues that might otherwise go unnoticed.
How Being Present Makes You a Better Leader
Studies have shown that leaders who are seen as present and engaged are 80% more likely to inspire commitment and trust compared to those who are perceived as distracted or unavailable. Being present also helps you make better decisions. When you’re focused, you process information more accurately and are less likely to miss important details. This leads to better choices and ultimately boosts your credibility.
For youth educators, being present is even more impactful. When young people see you actively listening and genuinely engaging with them, they’re more likely to open up, share their thoughts, and trust you. And let’s face it, trust is what makes all the difference in nurturing future leaders.
Practical Tips to Be a More Present and Trustworthy Leader
1. Listen Like You Mean It
Active listening is a game-changer. Instead of planning your next response or getting distracted by what’s happening around you, try to really hear what the other person is saying. Maintain eye contact, nod, and ask follow-up questions. This shows that you’re truly interested in what they have to say.
2. Create “Distraction-Free” Zones
Set aside specific times in your day to be totally unplugged. No phone, no emails, no notifications. Use this time to connect with your team or students, have face-to-face conversations, or simply reflect on your leadership. These distraction-free moments can make a world of difference. You need to actually schedule it!
3. Start a Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness isn’t just for yogis. This is actually a habit I picked up during the pandemic and it has stuck! Taking a few minutes each day to practice deep breathing or short meditations can help improve your focus, reduce stress, and make it easier to be present in those high-pressure moments when it matters most.
4. Ask Better Questions
Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a quick “yes” or “no,” try open-ended ones. For example, “What do you think we could do differently?” or “How are you really feeling about this project?” This not only encourages deeper conversations but also shows that you value the other person’s input.
5. Multitasking is a Joke
Multitasking is a myth when it comes to meaningful interactions. When you’re with someone, make a conscious effort to focus only on them. Put away your phone, close your laptop, and show them that they have your full attention. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes a huge impact.
6. Bookend Your Day with Reflection
Take a few minutes at the beginning of the day to reflect on intentional reaches you can make in your leadership and at the end the day on how present you were when leading others. Were there moments when you felt distracted or disengaged? What could you have done differently? This kind of self-awareness helps you stay on track and improve over time.
Building the Leaders of Tomorrow: The Role of Youth Educators
As a youth educator, you have the unique opportunity to shape the next generation of leaders. By modeling presence, you show young people what it looks like to be engaged, attentive, and trustworthy. When they see you putting away distractions and being fully present, they’re more likely to adopt those habits themselves.
Remember, being a great leader isn’t just about guiding others—it’s about being there for them in meaningful ways. So, let’s commit to being present in each moment. Because when we show up fully, we don’t just lead better—we build trust, inspire others, and ultimately make a lasting impact.
Here’s to creating a generation of leaders who know the value of being truly present!
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