The Smartest Skill You Can Grow: Emotional Intelligence

By Tracey Wozny | LEAD Coaching | www.traceywozny.com

“Emotional intelligence is the single best predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.”– Dr. Travis Bradberry, Emotional Intelligence 2.0

In a world that praises intellect and talent, we often overlook the quiet superpower behind success: Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Unlike IQ, which remains relatively fixed, EQ is something we can develop—and it has an astounding impact on our relationships, communication, leadership, and overall well-being.

Through my coaching experience, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful emotional intelligence can be in helping both youth and adults lead with more clarity, confidence, and connection. The core EQ skills taught by experts like Dr. Travis Bradberry aren’t just theory—they’re practical tools that make a real difference. Emotional intelligence isn’t fluff—it’s function. And the best part? You can actually get better at it.

Just like you’d set a marketing plan or a financial budget, building emotional intelligence takes a clear game plan. This summer, I’ve been helping teams “choreograph” their EQ strategy—because when you lead with intention, you lead with impact.

Working with teams across the country to build a strategy around emotional intelligence

Let’s explore the four essential EQ pillars—and do a quick self-check along the way.

1. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to accurately recognize your emotions and understand how they affect your thoughts and behaviors. It’s knowing what triggers you, what motivates you, and how you show up.

“You can’t manage what you don’t understand.” – Travis Bradberry

LEAD Tip: Begin each morning with two questions:What am I feeling?How could this affect the way I lead or react today?

2. Self-Management

This is your ability to regulate your emotions. Think calm in the chaos, clarity over reaction, resilience over reactivity. Self-management turns emotional awareness into productive response.

LEAD Tip: Try our "Pause Practice." When triggered, take a deep breath and count to ten before responding. Just that moment of intention can completely change the outcome.

3. Social Awareness

EQ leaders listen not just with ears, but with empathy. Social awareness is about tuning into others, reading between the lines, noticing what’s not being said.

LEAD Tip: Ask yourself in conversations:

• What emotion is underneath their words?

• What might they need from me right now?

Great leaders see people, not just problems.

4. Relationship Management: Where It All Comes Together

This is where your EQ really shows up—in how you lead, communicate, and connect with others. Relationship management is all about using your self-awareness, self-control, and empathy to build strong, healthy relationships. It’s knowing how to have hard conversations without blowing things up, how to motivate people when they’re stuck, and how to stay steady when things get messy.

Let’s be honest—people are complex. But EQ gives you tools to navigate the ups and downs of working with others in a way that builds trust instead of tension.

LEAD Tip: Try this in your next tough conversation:“When you ___, I feel ___, because ___.”It’s simple, clear, and helps take the heat out of the moment so both people can move forward.

One of the most helpful tools I’ve used with the teams I coach is a simple but powerful assessment based on the work of Dr. Travis Bradberry. It gives a quick snapshot of where your strengths are—and where you might need to grow—so you have a solid starting point for building your EQ. Think of it as your emotional intelligence GPS—it helps you know where you are before you decide where to go.

LEAD Self-Assessment

Use this simple quiz to identify where you need to grow most. Rank yourself from 1 (Never) to 5 (Always):

SELF-AWARENESS

☐ I can name what I’m feeling

☐ I know what triggers me

☐ I reflect on emotions before reacting

SELF-MANAGEMENT

☐ I stay calm under pressure

☐ I avoid emotional outbursts

☐ I bounce back quickly from setbacks

SOCIAL AWARENESS

☐ I notice emotional shifts in others

☐ I listen more than I speak

☐ I understand body language

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

☐ I handle conflict with empathy

☐ I inspire others

☐ I communicate clearly, even when it’s hard

Add the numbers up under each EQ skill set.

The highest- scoring category? That's your strength zone.

The lowest-scoring category? That’s your growth zone.

Final Thoughts

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being overly emotional or soft—it’s about being smart with how you handle yourself and others. And the best part? It’s something you can actually get better at with a little bit of focus. Whether you're leading a team, parenting, teaching, or just trying to be a better human, EQ is the game-changer.

Here’s your 30-day challenge:Pick one of the four skills—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, or relationship management—and commit to practicing it every day for the next month. Keep it simple. Take notes, reflect, and just pay attention. You’ll be surprised how fast things shift when you lead with intention.

You’ve got this—and your EQ will only grow from here.