Put Down the Megaphone: Pick Up a Question

We live in a world full of answers, podcasts, self-help books, YouTube tutorials, Google searches. Need advice? It’s one click away.

But sometimes, what people need most — especially the next generation — isn’t another answer.

It’s a question.

That’s the difference between mentoring and coaching. And learning how to balance the two may be one of the most powerful ways we can serve others this season.

Mentoring: Sharing the Wisdom You’ve Earned

Mentoring is what most of us naturally do as leaders. We’ve learned lessons, gained experience, and want to pass it on. It comes from a place of love and service, “I’ve walked this road, and I want to help you avoid my mistakes.”

Mentoring is guiding. It’s teaching. It’s saying, “Here’s what worked for me, and here’s what I’ve learned.”

And that’s valuable! The next generation needs mentors. They need people who will share wisdom, stories, and encouragement.

But if we stop there, if we only mentor, we risk making leadership a one-way street. We give the answers, but we don’t help others discover their own.

Coaching: Asking the Questions That Spark Growth

Coaching, on the other hand, is about curiosity. It’s the practice of helping others find their own clarity by asking thoughtful questions.

A coaching mindset is rooted in humility — the belief that people are capable, creative, and resourceful. Coaching isn’t about fixing; it’s about facilitating growth.

When we coach, we serve differently. We hold space instead of taking space. We don’t rush in to solve; we slow down to listen.

Coaching asks things like:

• “What do you think is really getting in the way?”

• “If you could change one thing this week, what would it be?”

• “What does success look like for you in this situation?”

• “How will you know when you’ve made progress?”

These questions invite ownership. They build emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and confidence. These are all qualities today’s young leaders need desperately.

Why This Matters for the Next Generation

Gen Z and Gen Alpha are growing up in an on-demand world. They’re used to quick answers and instant solutions. But leadership and life don’t always work that way.

When we give them every answer, we unintentionally rob them of the struggle that builds strength. Coaching teaches them how to think, not what to think.

Serving the next generation means empowering them to discover their own resilience, problem-solving skills, and values. Asking questions communicates, “I trust you.” And trust is one of the most powerful ways to serve another person.

Mentoring vs. Coaching at a Glance

Here’s a simple way to see the difference:

Mentoring	Coaching
I share my experience	I explore their experience
I give advice	I ask questions
I lead with wisdom	I lead with curiosity
I talk more	I listen more
I provide direction	I help them find direction
I tell them what worked for me	I help them discover what works for them

Both are needed. But when we learn to balance them — sharing insight and asking questions we become the kind of leaders who don’t just teach… we transform.

Coaching Questions to Serve Better

Here are a few of my favorite coaching questions you can use in conversations with students, employees, or even family:

1. To help someone gain clarity:

“What’s really important to you about this situation?”

2. To help them reflect:

“What part of this feels most challenging for you right now?”

3. To help them problem-solve:

“If you could try anything without fear of failure, what would you do?”

4. To help them grow accountability:

“What’s one small action you could take this week toward your goal?”

5. To help them find gratitude or perspective:

“What’s one thing this experience has taught you about yourself?”

These kinds of questions shift the focus from advice giving to self-leadership. They remind people they already have what it takes and they just need someone to believe in them long enough to draw it out.

Serving Through Coaching

When we approach leadership with a coaching mindset, we practice servant leadership at its best. We serve by empowering, not directing. We guide through curiosity, not control.

Sometimes the most impactful thing we can do isn’t to give someone the right answer, it’s to help them ask the right question.

The next time you feel the urge to jump in with advice, pause and ask instead, “Would you like me to give feedback, or would you like to talk it through?” That one question can change the entire tone of a conversation.

The Quiet Service of Listening

As we enter this season of gratitude and service, remember this: listening is an act of serving. When we listen to understand instead of listening to respond, we give people something rare, our full attention.

Serving through coaching doesn’t take a title, a classroom, or a position. It simply takes the willingness to be curious. Replace the word "fix" with "curious!"

So, whether you’re leading a team, teaching a class, parenting a child, or mentoring a young adult, try this small shift :Ask more questions. Listen a little longer. Serve by believing that they already have the answer within them.

Because the best leaders don’t create followers, they create thinkers!