Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: Gratitude Is a Leadership Skill

Why teaching gratitude today can shape the leaders of tomorrow.

November is here, and with Thanksgiving right around the corner, gratitude seems to be on everyone's mind.

But here's something I've learned after more than 30 years of working with young people:

Gratitude shouldn't be something we practice just one month out of the year. It should be something we intentionally teach, model, and live every day.

As parents, educators, and youth leaders, we spend so much time helping our kids become better students, athletes, performers, and achievers. But are we spending enough time teaching them to appreciate what they already have?

I believe gratitude is one of the most overlooked leadership skills we can give the next generation.

And like most important life lessons, I had to learn this one myself.

From a Blue Volkswagen to a Grateful Heart

Growing up, I remember the adults in my life telling me to "count my blessings."

Easier said than done!

I can still picture myself driving around in my old blue Volkswagen station wagon while my best friend cruised around in her shiny black Trans Am with T-tops.

Let me tell you, I wasn't exactly counting my blessings in those moments!

I was too busy comparing what she had to what I didn't.

Sound familiar?

Today, our young people face that same comparison game, only it's magnified by social media. They can scroll through hundreds of pictures showing what everyone else has, where they're going, and what they're accomplishing.

And before they know it, their focus shifts from everything they have to everything they think they're missing.

It took me years to understand what those wise adults were trying to teach me.

Gratitude doesn't change what we have. It changes how we see what we have.

And that shift in perspective can change everything.

Gratitude Builds Resilient Leaders

One of the most important lessons we teach through our Taking Shape Star Leadership program is that leadership begins on the inside.

Before we can lead others, we must learn to lead ourselves.

That includes our thoughts, attitudes, choices, and reactions when life doesn't go our way.

Research on gratitude suggests that practicing it can support emotional well-being, positive relationships, and a more optimistic outlook. But gratitude doesn't mean pretending everything is wonderful.

Life is hard sometimes. Kids experience disappointment, rejection, friendship struggles, and failure. We all do.

Gratitude gives us another way to look at those challenges.

Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?" we can begin asking, "What can I learn from this?"

Instead of focusing only on what's wrong, we learn to recognize what's still good.

That's resilience. And resilience is a leadership skill our young people will need for the rest of their lives.

Three Simple Ways to Grow Gratitude in Young Leaders

The good news? We don't need another complicated program or lengthy lesson to begin.

We simply need to be intentional.

1. Start with Three Good Things

One of my favorite gratitude habits is asking young people to identify three things they're thankful for each day.

But let's take it one step further.

Instead of simply saying, "I'm thankful for my friends," encourage them to be specific.

"I'm thankful that my friend noticed I was having a hard day and sat beside me at lunch."

Now we're connecting the dots!

We're helping young people recognize the people, moments, and small blessings they might otherwise overlook.

Try this at the dinner table, in your classroom, or at the end of a dance class.

And here's the important part: Let them hear what YOU are grateful for, too.

Our kids are watching us more than they're listening to us.

2. Take the Complaining Challenge

We all complain. Myself included!

But what if we challenged our young leaders to become more aware of how often they complain?

Try a seven-day complaining challenge.

When a complaint comes up, encourage them to pause and ask, "What can I do about this?" or "Is there something good I can recognize in this situation?"

This isn't about ignoring real problems or discouraging young people from speaking up when something is wrong.

It's about helping them recognize the difference between complaining and taking ownership.

One little habit I've developed with our younger leaders is responding when they say thank you.

I simply say, "Thank you for saying thank you!"

It's amazing how something so simple can reinforce a positive behavior.

And those small habits, practiced consistently, become part of who we are.

3. Turn Gratitude into Action

Gratitude becomes even more powerful when we move beyond feeling thankful to showing appreciation.

Write a note to a teacher.

Thank a coach.

Help a sibling without being asked.

Include someone who feels left out.

Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness create the biggest ripple.

And that's where gratitude and leadership come together.

When young people recognize the good others bring into their lives, they're more likely to look for ways to bring good into someone else's.

That's the kind of leadership our world needs.

Growing Grateful Leaders Here, Near and Far

At Taking Shape, our mission is to grow strong, confident young leaders Here, Near and Far.

And gratitude is one of the values we can weave into every part of that mission.

Here: In our own community, more than 40 young people participate in Star Leadership through Shapes Dance & Acro Studio. They're learnin

g that leadership isn't about a title. It's about the choices they make and how they treat others.

Near: Through partnerships like our local YMCA after-school program, our Star Leaders have opportunities to share what they're learning with younger children. They're discovering that one of the greatest ways to show gratitude for what we've been given is to give something back.

Far: Our mission reaches all the way to Haiti, where our IMPA school is once again serving 160 children, supported by 15 dedicated employees. Despite incredibly difficult circumstances in their community, education, connection, and opportunities to grow remain important.

These young people may live in very different circumstances, but they share something powerful.

They all deserve opportunities to learn, grow, serve, and lead.

And gratitude helps us recognize both the opportunities we've been given and our responsibility to make a difference for others.

The Greatest Lesson Begins with Us

As we head into this season of Thanksgiving, I want to challenge each of us to think beyond the holiday.

Are we modeling gratitude when things don't go our way?

Are we thanking the people who make a difference in our lives?

Are we helping our kids appreciate the opportunities they have rather than constantly focusing on what comes next?

Because the truth is, we can't expect our young people to develop habits they never see us practice.

We don't need to raise kids who have everything.

We need to raise kids who appreciate what they have, recognize what others need, and are willing to make a difference.

That's how we build grateful hearts.

That's how we grow resilient leaders.

And that's how we make an impact Here, Near and Far.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Let's keep growing leaders from the inside out.

Want to bring intentional leadership lessons into your classroom, studio, school, or youth organization? Discover how the Taking Shape Star Leadership program helps young people build the values and life skills they need to lead with confidence.

Learn more at starleadership.care.