You may have heard the phrase, “You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with.” Although this may sound like an excuse to ditch a co-worker or old high school friend you don’t have anything in common with anymore, there actually is truth in the saying.
What does a 3-minute friend look like?
Imagine you are in line at your favorite coffee shop and you strike up a conversation with the person next to you. You realize it is a friend of a friend that you both know. You chat about the commonality in your relationship with the “friend.” Discuss the gatherings you both attended together and some of the things you have in common with each other. You enjoy your time together, the conversation you just shared. You each grab your coffee and head in your own direction. You may or may not see each other again but this 3 minute conversation started your day off right! You have “extra flavor” added to your latte.
What does a 3-hour friend look like?
As you move up the friendship ladder, you will find these friends have a deeper influence on your life. They sometimes are colleagues, business partners, long long-time friends you enjoy going out to lunch with. The 3-hour friend is someone you value spending time with and possibly sharing ideas with. Think about an old college sorority sister, a work “bestie” you work on projects with, or maybe even a favorite sister-in-law with whom you share stories of raising your children together.
The 3-hour friends are deeper relationships and you have put more investment in the relationship such as scheduling time to meet. You’re not just exchanging pleasantries but ideas, sharing experiences, and meaningful conversation.
What does a 3-day friend look like?
These are the “peeps” you could spend an entire weekend with. These relationships have deepened over time through trust with special people in your life. You know each other, you have things in common and shared experiences. Think of your 3-day friends as investments of making little deposits into each other’s life.
The 3-day friends influence your life decisions, your hobbies, and your lifestyle. You plan, schedule, and put these people in your life on your calendar!
The rare 3-week friend! Who is this?
At the top of the relationship pyramid are the very rare 3-week friends. These are the people that you have shared deep life experiences with.
Depending on where we are on our journey in life, we may not have these rare friends in our lives. This may be our family members.
However, these rare friends can be life-altering. They may inspire you to take risks, embrace the unknown, and experience different customs, cultures, or philosophies. These friends directly influence your journey of life.
So where do these levels of relationships with your friends fit in your life?
All of these friends combine together to relate to the principle that you are the average of the people you surround yourself with.
If you reflect on your social circle, it is a mix of these different levels of friends. Sometimes we may find ourselves in toxic circles of friends who pull people down, talk negatively, and continue to be a drain in relationships. Maybe some of your 3-day friends need to move down to 3-hour or even 3-minute friends.
However, the opposite could happen where you have 3-minute or 3-hour friends that you want to spend more time with to learn and grow. Perform your “friends audit” through reflection to see where your relationships fit into these time levels.
Your 3-minute friends provide a splash of randomness, your 3-day friends develop trust, and share ideas and deeper conversations. Your 3-day friends are influential in your lifestyle choices and if you have those rare 3-week friends, you have a bond of trust, experiences, and adventure.
In our life’s journey, we will encounter a wide spectrum of relationships. From the 3 minutes to the 3 day friends. These relationships will shape our values and beliefs. We need to open our minds to the opportunity of learning from each connection. Making sure that these friends continue to lift us up, challenge us, and bring out the best in us as we live forward to be the best versions of ourselves.